I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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