If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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