I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
