My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize