I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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