just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
