i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize