You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize