all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
well, you know. whores of a feather.
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