R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Randomize
