True but thats because hes a fetus.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Randomize
