I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
