you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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