OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
