What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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