dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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