and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Enjoy the penises
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
