we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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