angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
