I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
