Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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