we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
