I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize