When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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