he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize