You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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