Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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