i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
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