So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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