if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize