I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
