Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
