Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Randomize
