The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
What happened to fro yo and sex?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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