this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
