Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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