I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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