he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
