I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
The convent might be a nice break from real life
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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