just come out here and I will go home with you...
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
