turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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