We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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