Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
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