I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Randomize