it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Just high enough for therapy.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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