I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I'm always down for nudity.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
