So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Randomize
