two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
