Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
