the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
love makes seman taste better
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
