Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
