Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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