your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
