awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
This is classic penis vs brain.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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