He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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