there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
