wrigley field is MILF paradise
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
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